The Wonder of Untying

Posted on Tue, 9 July 2013

I have re-posted this from Fetlife with the permission of the author, NaughtyHelen. Obviously, I'm dead chuffed that I was instrumental in inspiring this article but it also confirms my assertion that it is not what tie you do but how you do it and that untying is as important as tying. Too many people treat it as 'job done' once a tie is completed. This is as crazy as going for a walk in beautiful countryside but being determined to only enjoy the outward journey and ignore the equal delights of the return trip. In the same way, why should the untying be any less pleasurable than tying? If you miss out on that, you are being short-changed. Anyway, don't take my word for it:

"I have been asked to try and put into words the discussion we had on Saturday night at youripper's 'Rips Ropey Workshop'; and my feelings about this subject. I am not a hugely experienced rope bunny, I am just in love with rope and being in love with my partner who ties me and submitting to him so completely in this way has also opened up a whole new world, one which before was in my head and in my heart and in my dreams.

The first person who validated for me how I feel about rope was @Esinem, it was quite some time ago now, but two things happened with him that made a huge difference to my 'Ropey world' the first was the acceptance of who I was, I was only half way through my weight loss process and he was so accepting of me and my size and so willing to tie me and teach my then partner to tie me better, I had really thought that it was something I would have to wait for, something that I was not yet good enough for and it was a bit of a milestone for me that day. But the even bigger thing for me was at a simple workshop he ran at Erotica. Rope for me had always been more than bondage or restriction, or works of art it was sexual, sensual, erotic, powerful, dominating, comforting, cathartic and even a source of pain, restriction and hugely submission. Esinem talked about it like I felt about it, I wasn't alone any more. Then he did the simplest thing he talked about how it all started from the way you took hold of someone how you swiftly bound their hands and took control. As he did that very thing to me, at the front of the class, a door opened, and he led me through it, such a simple thing but he did what I thought was possible so suddenly it was all possible, even I was possible, and a future was possible.

For me rope is a very special journey, every time a different one. The submission of rope, the power I am giving to another and the way my body and my mind can be used and be made to feel in a hundred different ways. And now we eventually get to the point, what I am supposed to be writing about and that for me that journey does NOT end when the tie is finished and the rope has to be untied. The untying is part of that journey, without that part I would be left at my destination and not return, incomplete. A lot of this for me is the control of the rigger, his domination of both me and the rope, not knowing where the rope is going, feeling every deep vibration of rope on rope, rope on skin, rope under tension pulling me and making me still his. I talked about the different ways this can still be the dance of rope, still be the person whom you are trying, not just the mechanics of being untied (The person not the rope) in fact I still see it as being tied, not being untied; at all. The rigger can use tension to make the vibrations stronger, to take the vibrations elsewhere on the body, he can use the travel of the rope across the most sensitive parts of the body, the nipples, the neck, the lips that travel can be turned into pain, into sensual whispers, even a balance of power that suddenly shifts as the rope is bound once more, tightened around your body again, taken somewhere else, looped around the neck and being pulled in for a kiss or deep look into the eyes, you are still mine you do not know what I will do next whispered words, growls, instructions (very powerful) Hands and limbs can suddenly be re-tied briefly in another position, even a sudden stress or pain, the ends of the rope can be gathered into a coil flogger and used for impact, and as the coil grows bigger the thuddier the impact and of course just a single rope end is a whip in his hand. Even when the rope is fallen from the body it is still there, it is not gone, because the arms around you are those that tied that rope, and in some cases rope can be on you, the weight of it part too of those comforting arms, fingers drifting over the marks left behind, tracing their power, leaving the rope still there in your mind and heart.

I talked about Esinem saying that it all starts with just how you lay your hands on someone, and the reason why I did was that this to me is just as powerful while you untie, the rigger not loosing that deep and complete power of the person they are touching, the person whom the rope is travelling over and around, whom he is taking hold of, has not let go of, and that perhaps is a good way of thinking of how you untie someone, that journey, where are you going to take that person, what power over them do you want to exert?

I am someone who likes impact play any time, before, during, and after rope, some people do not, so of course communication like in all things is terribly important. Some bunnies get so very rope spacey that the untying of rope needs to be a sensual soft and cradling journey that they barely feel in the haze of euphoria they are flying in, with rope sensations kept to strokes and sensual soft glides. Some bunnies would love pain while they are are flying in rope space, it is a very different place to receive pain in and surprisingly for some the most cathartic of all pain, they might also be able to enjoy sharper or deeper pain that they would struggle with at other times. Other bunnies would like the really deep forceful submission that can be made to happen in how they are treated and talked to, how the positions are changed and they forced to bend to the will of rigger (And some like me are greedy girls who want it ALL!) so it does all come down to making sure the journey you take together, with rope as the powerful tool to dominate and control, is one that is right for you both.

My point that night was to say that it is worth really thinking about it, but even more to feel it, ;enjoy it, I think it can be the dessert, the coffee, even the sex and snuggle in bed ; the completion of a submission and control which can often be far more powerful than the tie itself and make the difference to where you have taken that bunny in the end: how deep the rope space; how complete their joy and for the rigger when they see how much they can do, how much power the untying gives them.. a deeper joy in what they are doing and completion he would not otherwise ever feel

H x x x