Shibari etiquette

Posted on Tue, 26 November 2013


Here is 'The Good Manners of Rope' by Bingo Shigonawa, who is a member of Kinoko's Ichinawa-kai group. Once again, we must thank Rida for the translation. The principles extend well beyond rope and give one some small glimpse into how the Japanese achieve harmony in their society. We could all learn a few lessons from it.

『縄しぐさ』(nawa shigusa) Rope Manners

【足浮かせ】 (ashi ukase)
[Rise your feet]

Never ever step on someone else's rope. Most riggers care deeply for their rope and are very particular about it. Treating it with respect is expected, and stepping on it is truly rude and disrespectful.

【縄ことわり】(nawa kotowari)
[One word]
:足浮かせと同様に他人の縄に触れる時は、 一言ことわりをいれる。例え親切心で縄の片付けをする

時にでも、 持ち主に触れていいか確認をしてから触れる。
As you are not to step on someone else's rope, you should also not touch it without asking for permission first. Even if you are driven by the good intention of helping tide it up, you should always check with the rope owner if it is OK to touch it.

【七三の床】(shichisan no yuka)
[the 3:7 floor ]
:同じ床で複数人で縄を掛ける場合、相手に七、 自分に三の領域のつもりで掛ける。 互いにそのつも

りでいることで、 互いに干渉し合わない五分五分の場を作ることが出来る。
When you happen to be tying in close proximity to someone else and share the same space, it is a good rule to focus on occupying only 3/10 of the space and leave 7/10 of the floor space to the others. If both parties focus on this, it will end up that both sides will be using exactly no more than half of the space and not interfere with each other.

【姫(殿)泥棒】 (hime or tono dorobou)
[(Don't be a) Princess/Bottom thief]
主や相方のいる女性又は男性と必要以上に親しくなることは御法度 。相手が知った上で関わることが

Getting too intimate beyond necessity with a bottom (male or female) that already has a partner is a big no-no. At minimum, courtesy calls that contacts should be had after the partner has been informed and/or permission has been granted. And when applying rope, both side's permission should be received first.

【うかつあやまり】(ukatsu ayamari)
[First apology]
:相手に主や相方がいることを知らずに縄をかけてしまった場合、 相手のせいにはせずしっかりと謝

In the event that rope has been applied without previous knowledge (and permission) that the bottom had a partner, do not blame the bottom but be prompt in apologizing to clean up the air.

【いいわけいらず】 (iiwake irazu)
[No need for excuses]

Once the tie is done, don't start making excuses for its shortcoming. It gives a bad impression to the bottom. Accept instead the result with honesty.

【髪ひき】 (kami hiki)
[(Don't) Pull hair]

Problems or other matter that come up during a tie and are not dealt with on the spot will fester and drag on. And will often get talked to unrelated parties. Issues should always be discussed on the spot without dragging them on. Don't act in ways that will "pull the hair from the back".

【足びき】 (ashi biki)
[(Don't) Pull feet]
:相手を羨やみ、妬み、 他人を巻き込んで足を引っ張ろうとすること。迷惑極まりない行為。
Pulling someone's feet by dragging outsiders into a conflict born by envy and resentment, is not a welcomed behavior.

【同じ草】 (onazi kusa)
[Same plant]

No matter the sexual leaning, or preference, at heart we are all the same: humans. And like plants, even if stepped on, we endure and grow. However a plant cannot grow without roots (people) and leafs (people), and they both needs to be nurtured.

【しぐさの道】 (shigusa no michi)
[The way of (good) manners]
主や相方と積み重ねた想いや絆も、 いつか別れを迎えることになる。相手を妬み、怨み、憎み、責め

ることなく、 次の道へ進むのが思草の道。枯れるのではなく、育ち花咲くものである。
Even with partners with whom we have built a bond and have feelings for, there will come the time to part ways. Moving on to the next stage without carrying resentment, holding a grudge, hating or blaming is the "way of good manners". Don’t focus on it as the end, but view it as a new beginning.